The other day we had the opportunity to watch Tibetan Buddhist monks from the Gaden Jangtse monastery in south central India as they created a sand mandala. It was very interesting to watch, and the monks were very friendly and approachable. We didn't get to see the ceremony during which they swept away the beautiful picture and returned it to nature, but still, it got me thinking about impermanence and the way I have been handling life the past few months.
Things have been kind of weird for me, for maybe even a couple years. I've been thinking so much about the life I should have had. The way I had planned things since I was little. "I was supposed to have this, I wanted that." So many things are different, and i had been stressing over it quite a bit. I felt this pressure, this rush. "I need to have this done! I need to accomplish this!" I was worrying so much about things I didn't have that I was not seeing what I DID have clearly. I was rushing toward the future with no thought for the present. I was worrying myself so much over things ("Oh, I really hope the Chief behaves...") that I didn't enjoy that time as much as I could have. Instead of enjoying the hobbies and things I was doing, I was worrying about what I was NOT doing. Really, I was not enjoying life at all. And I was not a good example of living mindfully at ALL (remember, inspire, not require).
So, I am resolving to live more mindfully. To be more present in the present. When I do something, I will DO it, with all of me: hands, heart, and mind. Sort of like what this book says:
"Remember then that there is only one important time, and that time is now. The most important one is always the one you are with. And the most important thing is to do good for the one who is standing at your side."